His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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