and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize