Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
