Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You need Xanax blowdarts
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
