thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
it's like iHOP with fire
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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