Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i love accidental penises.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
