I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Holy shit dude........stairs
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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