Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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