some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
