I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize