This girl is more easily done than said...
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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