Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
