The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
