I think my fart just growled at me.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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