I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
