Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
