watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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