It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
wow bdsm is so cute
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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