i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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