Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
