Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just want to make out with him forever
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
