don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
