but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
