You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
