Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
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