umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
