dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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