thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
