as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
