very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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