How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
