just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
