Dual....:-)
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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