TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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