but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
