The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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