According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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