This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
