I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize