My brain says no but my pants say off.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
