we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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