i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
