am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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