What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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