Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
