You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize