weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
