if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
