I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
