Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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