I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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