I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
