With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Im part way to drunk.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
