Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
