At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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