Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
