D3 body, D1 cock
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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