btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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