he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you win again, gameday.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
