i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize