How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I want to be your penis for a week.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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