Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
