an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
God, I missed his penis.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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