I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
