my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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