Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
