Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
