I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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