i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
