dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
