I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
A+ Viking dick
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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