can we get nightvision for the apartment?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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