Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
