I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
