If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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